Howdy Kumquats—
Thanks for being here and for the comments. They encourage me a great deal.
If you’re just joining the discussion, this is part of series.
If you need to catch up, please first read—
Enjoy…
What Ayahuasca Showed Me
Part 2: THE HOW
Maybe it was my imagination, but the heater seemed to agitate others too. It finally went off. I was glad for the silence but also glad that I got warmer in my body. I felt like I had really been through an ordeal.
At some point, Haru’s wife, Hayra, entered. She took a seat, which looked like a throne, next to him. She began to drum and sing us back from the edges. It was so beautiful. I was relieved by her presence.
As she sang, I understood the WHY but now I wanted to know HOW?
How do we fix this? How? How? How?
Grandmother was silent. She let me grope around in the dark. I used my imagination.
I saw a vision of everyone in America not going to the election at all this year— just not going. It didn’t matter anyway. It was all a puppet show that never got anywhere and I saw what it looked like if we all just gave up, and sent a message by our absence. It felt simple. I saw the bewilderment of the powers-that-were. I saw America coming together gently and peacefully.
It looked just like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas and we were the Who’s in Whoville, coming together in a circle and singing our way back together. We didn’t need so many rules or laws, which meant we didn’t need all this bureaucracy to enforce them either. We actually got along really easily.
I was proud of us.
In another vision, I saw people creating two parallel tracks— one that was visible to the mainstream world, the other was an analog track prepared in secret— getting it ready until they were prepared to jump the track.
I saw that we would have to stop distracting, hiding and numbing ourselves. I understood that we all have been profoundly hurt and have lost so much, but there wasn’t exactly time to heal all the way. We had to heal ENOUGH, so that we could keep going— we would be healed in the doing. The action of coming back together and supporting each other would be what healed us the whole way.
I saw us loosening our reliance on the drugs, devices, and the shock and awe of trauma— which is also addictive, when that’s what you’re used to. I saw us sharing experimental ways to heat, cook, farm, building simple systems for water, bathing, etc. with minimal electricity. I saw us not really needing utility companies. Kind of like a more expansive version of many homesteads I know in California. I saw us sitting by fires at night and getting up with the sun. I saw the simple sweetness of life returning.
I saw (and felt) this huge wave of RELIEF that washed over everyone and everything.
Letting go was just such a deep, deep relief.
But it felt too good to be true.
Even on ayahuasca, I felt that this was ridiculous. There’s no way people would that. Something so simple and gentle. People feel so divided still. They wouldn’t believe in it.
I heard the message—
Do it while it is a choice, before there is force.
That felt true to me. The powers-that-were certainly will not let us out of their slavery systems easily.
Now, before you get your knickers in a bunch because this idea sounds too dark— I want to soberly say to you— please stay open. We have to face what is uncomfortable.
Long before this ceremony, I already believed that we have been lied to about everything.
And when I say we have been lied to about everything—
I mean EVERY SINGLE THING.
The more I’ve pulled out of mainstream society, the more I have discovered. I used to just make jokes like— “It’s like they are trying to kill us!” and during the plandemic, I often said, “If the virus doesn’t kill you, the vaccine will.” I only half believed it then, but now that is EXACTLY what I believe.
There is not a single aspect of society that has not been hidden from us. Why? So that we continue to have our life force siphoned off as drones and slaves for the relentlessly devouring controllers who make us fight their wars while they poison the planet, the people, the children. That’s why.
To quote astrologer Jeff Harman again who often quotes George Carlin- all we have are owners. George Carlin died back in 2008, which really seems like the salad days compared to the last few years. I invite you to read his own words about the controllers in the footnote here1.
For a long time, I didn’t want to see it all. I kept turning away from this stuff. I wasn’t ready to face it. In my heart I just wanted to believe that people are fundamentally good and that what is right will win in the end.
And I do believe that.
But I also believe people can do crazy things when they are sick and when they separate their hearts from themselves, from Nature and from Source. SICK is what I believe the owners are, as well as most of humanity.
We are all sick AND tired.
But what is precious must be protected.
There’s a reason Arch Angel Michael is always seen with a sword.
This is a spiritual battle more than anything.
The more I find out, the more I pull out of the over culture. I do and have prayed for a world that has a beneficial, reciprocal relationship with Nature and humanity. I am very hopeful, despite the severity of the problem.
Many are quick to label this kind of talk ‘conspiracy’ but the real conspiracy is how the owners have gotten away with this shit for so long. They have messed with everything, it’s gotten progressively worse and is so thinly disguised anymore.
A few days prior to this ceremony I was hiking on a sunny 70 degree day with a friend and we saw a plane chem-trailing— literally dumping chemicals in the sky from planes that trigger weather reactions. Very common in California.
I first heard about this when I was working on a legal marijuana farm with a local guy who said he fell asleep in a field once and woke up from the sound of a low flying plane and minutes later had a sticky chemical all over his skin. He said he believed they use chem-trailing to trigger droughts and wild fires too.
I asked why they would do that—and he said to keep us scared, to drive up insurance and so they can buy up more land for cheap afterwards. Either way, he said, you can’t even really call any food organic when they just rain down chemicals like that.
Living in California you can see and feel the reaction in the weather. I was asking my friend who she thought was flying these planes— like— how could they, what lie are they being sold? She said— they don’t need people for that anymore, those are drones.
The nice weather had gone and it was frigid that night and dumping rain.
If you think they can’t mess around with the weather, I really ask you to check in with yourself. These are the same people trying to get to Mars, waging wars no one wants to be part of…you think they can’t fuck up nice weather?
If you don’t believe that, fine.
What about our food? What about what they are doing to farmers? What about all the resistance to growing organic? Why are simple things so difficult??
Because they want to poison us and make us sick, numb, dumb, asleep— and then force us to into the Western medical merry-go-round with “life long” diseases and problems they can profit from endlessly, to make money on both ends of our misery.
After all the miracles I’ve witnessed with watching people heal some really serious conditions only with diet and nutrition— I also don’t even believe the body gets “locked” into illness or allergies or anything forever, either. We are not static, and we are not deteriorating and withering as we age— we are actually growing in sensitivity!
The stuff we could tolerate in youth, we can’t anymore when we get older. That is a blessing, not a curse. It wakes us up to the problem faster. We are always healing and we are capable of so much more if we get out of the body’s way and just support it doing its thing. Our body has its own intelligence. It’s brilliant and beautiful.
I understand it’s hard to swallow all of this and there might be resistance in you reading right now. That’s ok. It has been a long road for me too. Even as I was sitting there getting a “talking to” by Grandmother ayahuasca about not looking away, I felt like I had been sitting in the shit for a long time. It has been hard.
It’s continued on and on too. I keep being shown the extent of the lies we were fed, to the point I just started calling this “Upside-Down World.” It’s almost funny because it feels as if the truth of reality is the exact inverse of what we’ve been told and sold. What is wrong is right, what is down is up. Like they didn’t even use much creativity, they just said the opposite thing.
Each time I get a new piece of the puzzle, I wish it wasn’t true. I just want things to be easy and fun. But when I filter the puzzle pieces through my intuition and my heart, they FEEL true. I worked hard to get my muscles of perception back in working order, and now I don’t ignore them. What feels true holds more weight than what I am told.
As hard as it has been for me digest the enormity of the problem, it’s been even harder to see all the ways people continue to prop up their horrible world. We tell ourselves so many excuses, mostly about our “security”…justifying doing hurtful and harmful things to ourselves, others, Nature— because everyone does it. This so ironic to me. How could we think for one second we are safe in a system or world that is actually poisoning and killing us? And we sit around and fight with each other about politics.
It’s embarassing. We can do better. I expect more from us.
It has felt way-past time to wake up, from my perspective.
But it’s a process. It’s painful. It takes time to rage and grieve at it all, and that most certainly must be done to heal. Like witnessing the anger of Nature. And we all have our personal trauma getting in the way of our ability to see or think clearly…or to be there for others.
Being there for others is a type of generosity of heart and emotional availability that I call— SHOWIE-UPPIE-NESS. It’s kind of the glue. There’s been a missing showie-uppie-ness with people for a very long time.
Those who haven’t healed their codependency or abandonment wounds, for example, will continue to give beyond their capacity and put themselves in situations where people don’t appreciate or love them, so they will be hurt over and over, until they have had enough. I know this first hand.
When we first start to heal and learn to protect ourselves, we put up these ham-fisted boundaries because our muscles of self-love work crudely at first. But they get stronger and more finely-tuned. You learn to be more graceful, even when you have to break up with people you love. And that’s what must be done when people pull your energy down, project their crap onto you or look at you with shit colored glasses on. You can’t live in that.
Do not suffer fools.
It’s painful to let people go, but this is deal with life on Earth. Some people are here to teach us painful lessons and that’s it. Thank them for it, the hard way is really the only way we learn deeply.
We can hug it out with them in the after-life.
Just keep moving forward. There is a lot more life to live and people to love.
But I digress.
Back to the message, which was— do this by choice, before there is force.
We know what the powers-that-were (an expression I borrow from a psychic and channeler, Amanda Ellis) are capable of and they are putting the squeeze on us right now. They feel us slipping out of their control.
Humanity is going through a “passage” as Haru called it.
Passing through the eye of a needle.
That’s the squeeze we are in.
My question of HOW wasn’t fully resolved.
I put my focus back in my heart.
Trust, trust, trust.
Haru invited others in the circle to sing a song. It was all so sweet and tender. The ceremony ended in the wee hours. We were told not talk much, to stay in our experience. I drank some warm veggie broth and I snuggled up in my bed in the back of my truck.
It took a few more hours for me to finally sleep.
Be back soon with THE WHY.
Thanks for being here.
Love, Trixie
(https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22782.George_Carlin)
“But there’s a reason. There’s a reason. There’s a reason for this, there’s a reason education sucks, and it’s the same reason that it will never, ever, ever be fixed. It’s never gonna get any better. Don’t look for it. Be happy with what you got. Because the owners of this country don't want that. I'm talking about the real owners now, the real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the senate, the congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don’t want: They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table to figure out how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers. Obedient workers. People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork, and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all from you, sooner or later, 'cause they own this fucking place. It's a big club, and you ain’t in it. You and I are not in the big club. And by the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table is tilted folks. The game is rigged, and nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people -- white collar, blue collar, it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on -- good honest hard-working people continue -- these are people of modest means -- continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. Because the owners of this country know the truth: it's called the American Dream,
because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
The upside down and back to front world. So true.