Howdy Kumquats!
As usual, nothing is going as planned. No amount of list making or goal setting seems to add up to much these days. In the past, I’ve blamed this problem on the millennials. LOL. (Just kidding)
Actually I blamed the problem on a “MISSING STICKINESS”— referring to the glue that holds reality together. It’s similar but different than another problem I talk about a lot, which is the “LACK OF SHOWIE-UPPIE-NESS.” All of this very official terminology I made up myself.
It’s the stickiness that makes the magic happen— the synchronicities and opportunities that some call luck. Either way, things just aren’t sticking very well.
As a spiritual person, I believe luck is orchestrated by our angels, ancestors and spirit guides. It arrives in Divine Timing, which just means— it gets there way later than you or your ego wanted it to. The delay also makes you burn with gratitude when it does arrive, though….so, there’s that.
The working theory is that our spirit posses are bound by the rules of Divine Timing, making it so they can’t give us the thing until we are actually in an energetic state to be able to RECEIVE the thing. Like with our hearts. Like a kid at Christmas. They have to wait until we’re totally relaxed and tuned into as much blissful presence as possible…and then the trap door inside the boobie trapped tomb will just fling open and—-BOOM!— there’s the blessing!
So, we actually have to work out our receptivity muscles. Train them. Like at the gym. Like Arnold would.
We could also call this the art of “getting out of our own way.”
Our receptive way of being falls under the Divine Feminine umbrella. This is why self care is emphasized so much in spirituality, because you can’t receive the benefits and blessings if you don’t slow the fuck down and allow yourself to be delighted and surprised by how the world is conspiring to help you.
That’s why yoga often calls Savasana (corpse pose)— where you lay perfectly still at the end of class and try to keep your mind from spacing out— the most important part of the whole practice. You have to train yourself to receive.
Lately, it seems I spend so much time trying to maintain a baseline of calm, I can’t even get to a creative place. It’s taking so much effort just to stay balanced. I know it’s not just me experiencing this. Things have just felt like crap for most people I know.
But I had to pay it forward today and show up for duty as your resident Artist in the Wild (insert applause track here)!
It seems I can burst into tears real fast these days. But I got a much needed perspective shift from a channeler that I’ve been following on Youtube. She believes she was a high priestess in a past life and started speaking a cosmic light language to heal the collective— and as a result it shook her life up like a snow globe. (Gee, I wonder why….?)
She split up with her long-time, live-in partner and left the quiet country to move back to her mother’s house in London. She talks openly about the discomfort of being back at home and in a dense city with this crazy ability rising up inside of her, whether she wants it or not. And she struggles with what to do about it.
Whether you believe in this stuff or not, it’s a good story. And I am living my own version of this, being back in my hometown of Baltimore this summer. So, I appreciate her a lot for sharing about her life, when it sounds like science fiction.
But we already know that reality is stranger than fiction.
Just hearing her (Emily Hayward on Youtube) story really made me feel better. So much so, I was compelled to come here today and speak some of my truth and share some sassy opinions— to hopefully make life a little more sensible and fun for us all.
Existing in America right now just feels insulting— the offensive price of the things, the exhausting political finger pointing, the weird internalized shame around woke stuff, how scarce jobs / money / boyfriends / parties / fun are, how none of know how to socialize anymore, etc.. We’ve all been talking about it, but it’s not quite shifting. All of this made July 4th as fun as a used condom. But it’s more than that.
I love this fucked up country and I’m not ashamed to say so!
The more I learn about actual history, I gain a broader perspective. We have be lied to about everything. History is obviously included.
All people have been ripped apart by the owners / the controllers / the overlords for hundreds of years. If you can’t see that, you aren’t looking. It’s insane to act like a Trump-er neighbor is the reason racism still exists, or accuse whoever else we don’t agree with as being “the problem.” We have been living in a rigged rat trap with 24/7 surveillance. Does anyone want to talk about THAT problem?
Until you not only accept, but EMBRACE, the world exactly as it is, with all of its beautiful contradictions— the division will persist. It’s Alchemy 101, folks. Making peace with people is making peace with yourself. Do the work to change your own bad attitude. Choose the better story.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have— the facts of life….
The overlords sold us the story that we are at the pinnacle of human evolution, this is as good as it’s ever been (they always make us believe the opposite of what is true, that’s why I call it Upside-Down World). While the spiritual world and the Vedas say that we have been living through the dark ages. It’s “dark” because our connection to the Cosmos and Gaia was lost— our consciousness fell lower. And RIGHT NOW we are in the process of pulling ourselves up out of the mud.
The overlords no-likey.
Of course they are going to try every psy-opp, algorithm, additional fee, extra tax, weather weapon, shitty news program, bogus war, political puppet show and basic inconvenience in their fucked up arsenal to keep us down financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Which accounts for why the world feels like this.
Our souls incarnate into these bodies, with these families, onto this exact land, with these exact gifts and these challenges ON PURPOSE. It is your purpose transmute what drags you down. No matter who you are. Embracing your power and taking radical responsibility for your life means accepting your soul’s mission.
It’s a huge risk to be yourself and do your soul mission NO MATTER WHAT. Believe me. But isn’t better to try? We don’t regret the things did, only the things that we didn’t do. We just have to stay on mission.
The mission is this: YOU DO YOU FULLY.
By being yourself, having fun, sharing your dumb jokes and dance moves— and not taking things personally. Let it roll off and keep moving in your own freaky way.
How else do you want the story of your life to go?
Like this….? —-
“___(Insert Name Here)___ stayed safe her entire life…by playing small, ignoring her passions and never disagreeing with anyone she was able to suffocate her dreams until the very end. No one will miss her because we barely knew her…because she barely knew herself.”
If you are here right now, reading the ramblings of this wild woman, it is because you want the better story for your life too.
I know that getting on with living life is oh, so tricky right now. There’s so much worry about just surviving and trying to figure out a plan. So, I’m just letting go for now. No planning.
It takes so much freaking time to keep my nervous system chill that I have FUN and RELAXATION on my self care check list. And I started using a list again— so you know it’s pretty serious. Well, as serious as I can be, anyway :)
With the swampy temperatures of summertime in Maryland, occasionally I just give up and spend whole days inside in the air conditioning watching Netflix or Youtube. This was also a pleasant part of my childhood summers, so I don’t feel bad about it. I don’t have Netflix anymore, so I binged on these while house sitting for a friend, hence the reason they are all Netflix shows.
I just adore star biographies almost as much as trippy spiritual stuff. I learn so much from the lives and careers of artists, athletes, and outliers of all kinds. Like me, how they do one thing is how they do everything. They have a way of developing an outsider way of life and succeeding despite the system.
They show us what is possible.
With that in mind, here are some crazy-as-shit stories that are more like cautionary tales— useful through the negative polarity, showing us what we don’t want.
And some of them are epic and inspiring stories, that could each be A Handbook of Badassery.
And all of them exist in the very soupy grey area— in the gloppy murk of duality— a totally unique mixture of light and dark, good and bad— perfectly imperfect humans throwing themselves “with rough strife, through the iron gates of life”— to quote the poet, Andrew Marvel— with mixed results.
Oh! To be human.
Real beauty is authenticity.
You know it when you see it.
Ready? Let’s go!
Let’s start with my favorite new obsession: BECKHAM!
I fell in LOVE with Posh and Becks in this series about the famous footballer (soccer) and his pop star Spice wife. I watched this three times. Not joking.
I can’t believe how hot he is in middle age!
Or how well he can clean a kitchen….BESTILL MY BEATING HEART!!!!!
And organize a closet…..SWOOOOOOOOON!
And Posh is so grounded and devoted to her family and marriage, despite the epic strata of fame they exist in…it’s really heart warming. Grounded famous people practically look like demi-gods.
I was so in love with them after the show that I looked up their astrology charts to see what signs could create such an ambitious, sexy, devoted and loving couple—
Becks:
Sun Taurus = dedicated and loyal, sensual and sexual, patient and stubborn. As he said, he doesn’t give up easily. Also Taurus is ruled by Venus, which would account for a love of luxury and beautiful things.
Moon Capricorn= emotionally disciplined, happy when working hard, achievement oriented— slow and steady wins the race.
Venus Gemini
Mars Pisces
Posh:
Sun Aries = firey go-getter, great at starting new things (like moving all the time), bold and confident. Ruled by Mars, Aries has a warrior level drive to succeed. As she said, she wears the pants.
Moon Aquarius = she is inventive, open to new things, she works for the good of all, not just herself.
Venus Pisces
Mars Gemini
Can you believe that?—
Her Venus / his Mars is in PISCES and
His Venus / her Mars is in GEMINI!
That’s the main thing that has probably kept them fucking like bunnies all these years— the sexy scissoring of their Venus and Mars placements— not that they are the same, but that they are the mirror to each other, the yin to the yang, they are each other’s lock and key…to the Sex (Mars) & Romance (Venus) Departments.
Even the symbols for Pisces and Gemini look similar— as do the symbols for their Taurus / Aries Sun!
Here’s how the NY Post explains it—
Moving onto Venus and Mars — wow! Their sex life is insane. But beyond that, it shows that they truly are a cosmic pairing. David’s Venus is in the exact same place as Victoria’s Mars, while David’s Mars is in the exact same place as Victoria’s Venus. This is a true love union that blends intimacy, connection and passion. Talk about a couple who knows how to build a commitment and also work together no matter what.
True love still exists! Thank God.
America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
Behind the scenes with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders? I’m ready! Let’s go! This series was made by THIS GUY, David Whitely, who did the 2 series show Cheer, about a junior college competitive cheerleading team in Corsicana, Texas. Cheer had a tough-as-nails-with-a-heart-of-gold coach named Monica who would scoop up the misfit kids and push them to painful extremes on their way to becoming top elite athletes. It was like Bad News Bears meets Friday Night Lights. I actually miss Monica in my life. She retired after the fall out from fast fame. I loved Cheer so much I thought this would scratch the itch….
America’s Sweethearts is also coached by 2 brassy dames who used to be cheerleaders themselves, but their power trip is very transparent. America’s Sweethearts is more brutal in some ways because it is professional level, the women are paid peanuts, the perfectionism is next level and they are only relying on dancing skill, not all the acrobatics, to perform with. So much of it smells like rotten leftover sexism, it’s hard to stomach their treatment at times. I didn’t agree with a lot of the coaches’ attitudes or decisions, but I still got emotionally invested in the women’s lives, admired their dedication and cried several times.
Dancing For The Devil— The 7M TikTok Cult
I do love a good cult story!
There was a shortage for a while there, but since Wild, Wild Country a few years ago— we’ve been back on track with documenting the freaky-deaky Machiavellian religious nut jobs out there trying to take money, sex and free labor from wayward souls. It’s fascinating to see the extent to which people will give their power away, choose to believe in a dream and ignore the reality. Not to mention the role that social media and influencer culture plays in it all.
This one is super crazy because it involves a phony Christian pastor pimping out talented young LA dancers on TikTok, taking all their money and alienating them from their families…all in the name of God. Ugh.
What is it that makes them stay?
I wish I knew.
It reminds me of the Devil tarot card, which is not about being enslaved by the dark side. It’s about the Devil playing a role as prison guard until we wake up to our own power, realize the chains can easily slip off our necks and that we can walk out of the dungeon any time we want. Basically it means that we put ourselves in Hell.
You don’t have to stay in that cult! Run!
Bad Vegan
This one is cult-adjacent.
It tells the story of a beautiful, successful owner of a trendy vegan restaurant in NYC being gas lit by a guy she wound up marrying and turning all of her email and bank passwords over to. She delusionally assisted him in draining her business, investors, friends and her mother of obscene amounts of money until the couple went on the lam, living out of hotels for almost a year.
Even she seems baffled by what happened.
I have heard stories from people I know about friends/family who get swindled like this on a smaller scale. It’s more common than one would think.
So, don’t suffer fools.
For they will surely try to make you suffer.
I’ll Be Back….
I’ll end this on high note because I don’t think it’s worthwhile to focus on how fucked up things are all the time. I have to watch the morbid-meter on some of these shows because the more time I spend happy the better.
However, it is also spiritually immature to only look at the light. Sometimes we just gotta call the shit SHIT and acknowledge how fucked up, painful and uncomfortable it is to exist! It’s difficult and confusing. People do crazy things.
All we can do is accept, feel the feels, forgive, and let it go.
Everything happens FOR us — to learn the lessons and be smarter.
The main thing to remember is this—
If life is a play and all the world a stage, that means we can turn any tragedy into a comedy.
We have that power. It’s all about perspective. We each get to see life reflected through one facet of an infinitely-faceted jewel. Turn the jewel, and there’s another way of seeing the world. Keep turning it until you laugh-out-loud. That’s the magic.
Weirdly, the life of Arnold Swarzenegger was the most American story I have heard in a long time. Born to a rigid WWII-traumatized father and obsessively tidy mother in idyllic Austria, Arnold used body building to leverage his escape to America. Here, he became absolute LEGEND in a sports field not many cared about and used that success to leverage a career in Hollywood. From there, he married a Kennedy, was in some of the biggest films of all time and became the governor of California. He’s also more charismatic and funny that I knew.
What a life!!!
And he’s not dead yet.
Neither are we.
So, keep going, Soldiers of Love and Champions of Fun!
We need each other.
Love, Trixie
Speaking of gifts from the universe... I've been slow to mow my back yard, with hot weather and some health problems. Last week, without warning, somebody started mowing the back yard. At first I thought it was a neighbor or the city, so I was feeling guilty. After she finished I went out, handed her $60, and thanked her for doing the job. Turns out, she wasn't working for a neighbor or the city; she was supposed to mow a different house and misread the number. She was surprised when I came out of the house because she thought the place was vacant and ready to be sold. So I was happy to get a mowed yard, and she was happy to be paid for an otherwise wasted mistake.